I am from a far place than where I currently reside. I have posted many times on Facebook how I feel about the desert and home. I miss the green mountains and valleys, the grass and wildlife. For many years, I have looked to be back home amongst my family and friends.
I moved here almost 10 years ago; I have met people here and there. Some I thought would be great friends, brother-like, for what I share with my best friends back home. I have only a handful of close friends back home, those of which I call brothers. They have had my back for everything and anything growing up. I even have one that I ran into burning buildings with and even did silly ass shit with. That burning building shit turned into several brothers I'd done silly ass shit with. Here, I haven't found, but perhaps two.
I might be getting off track from what I was getting at, but when has that stopped me.
I'm an asshole, I want to trust people in my circle or extended circle, but I seem to always get the short end of the stick with it. I worked for the Sheriff's Office back home and I still had faith in humanity whilst doing so. I had no issues with inmates when I was Officer in charge. I would like to think that it was my golden rule attitude that did this, and they didn't think of me as a pussy and pushover. I treat people fairly, I always have. I like to try to form my own opinion of people before anything else. You know how people are, they will always push their opinion of other upon you.
I still am off track here, lol. I wanted to chat about this person who currently holds my heart. I have been wandering aimlessly in the desert for some time now without direction. But two weeks ago, I was blessed with somebody. One who I share common pet peeves with. A person who comes from a similar small town I did. Same values.
I know I known, you are like "whooooooow mofo, your ass is from Long Island, and you used to jack cars from Long Beach at Ashore Dodge and drive them into the city on the weekends." Well my little crumbs I am from down on the Island but at the sweet age of 17 I was jettison up to the little old town of Walton. A culture shock, I must say. I went from pumping gas for mobsters on Long Island to throwing hay on a dairy farm for an ex-Vietnam vet. A man who I come to cherish a lot, one who introduced me to cock fighting and being a man of my word. I thank my father (who is my stepfather) for removing me from the city and introducing me to the country. I am who I am today for this. I learned human values, responsibility, and true friendship. Walton was the longest place I lived in; therefore, it was the place where I had the longest and most friends. I have a handful of Long Beach friends, and they mean the world to me and also have a say in who I am and have become. In my 5 years in Long Beach, I did so much shit, met so many different people, and never got shot, lol.
It's been a long road, and I know I have a long way to go.
I just hope that I might have found a person who will join me on my continuation of this journey. I am but a simple man with simple wishes. I know I am far from home, but I have done the best I could while here. For this, I wish to at least be rewarded with the simplest of things. I suppose my past relationships have their opinions of what I am or who I am. I simply want to be me and find that one who wants me for all of that, who or what I am.
This lady, this woman who comes from a familiar feeling that makes me feel me from long ago, has entered my life. At a time in one of my darkest moods, a time when I no longer want my time to go on. I have felt something I haven't felt in a long time. I don't believe in a god, but I am spiritual, where she believes in god and is very much so active in it. My only hope is that we can see each other as who we are and respect that. I have the utmost respect for anybody and their beliefs, and I hope that my beliefs are not questioned. I want to make the best of this and see how I can evolve into an even better person.
I have rambled on lol.
I still only hope for the best. :)
This I wan't to believe is my flower in the desert.
I moved here almost 10 years ago; I have met people here and there. Some I thought would be great friends, brother-like, for what I share with my best friends back home. I have only a handful of close friends back home, those of which I call brothers. They have had my back for everything and anything growing up. I even have one that I ran into burning buildings with and even did silly ass shit with. That burning building shit turned into several brothers I'd done silly ass shit with. Here, I haven't found, but perhaps two.
I might be getting off track from what I was getting at, but when has that stopped me.
I'm an asshole, I want to trust people in my circle or extended circle, but I seem to always get the short end of the stick with it. I worked for the Sheriff's Office back home and I still had faith in humanity whilst doing so. I had no issues with inmates when I was Officer in charge. I would like to think that it was my golden rule attitude that did this, and they didn't think of me as a pussy and pushover. I treat people fairly, I always have. I like to try to form my own opinion of people before anything else. You know how people are, they will always push their opinion of other upon you.
I still am off track here, lol. I wanted to chat about this person who currently holds my heart. I have been wandering aimlessly in the desert for some time now without direction. But two weeks ago, I was blessed with somebody. One who I share common pet peeves with. A person who comes from a similar small town I did. Same values.
I know I known, you are like "whooooooow mofo, your ass is from Long Island, and you used to jack cars from Long Beach at Ashore Dodge and drive them into the city on the weekends." Well my little crumbs I am from down on the Island but at the sweet age of 17 I was jettison up to the little old town of Walton. A culture shock, I must say. I went from pumping gas for mobsters on Long Island to throwing hay on a dairy farm for an ex-Vietnam vet. A man who I come to cherish a lot, one who introduced me to cock fighting and being a man of my word. I thank my father (who is my stepfather) for removing me from the city and introducing me to the country. I am who I am today for this. I learned human values, responsibility, and true friendship. Walton was the longest place I lived in; therefore, it was the place where I had the longest and most friends. I have a handful of Long Beach friends, and they mean the world to me and also have a say in who I am and have become. In my 5 years in Long Beach, I did so much shit, met so many different people, and never got shot, lol.
It's been a long road, and I know I have a long way to go.
I just hope that I might have found a person who will join me on my continuation of this journey. I am but a simple man with simple wishes. I know I am far from home, but I have done the best I could while here. For this, I wish to at least be rewarded with the simplest of things. I suppose my past relationships have their opinions of what I am or who I am. I simply want to be me and find that one who wants me for all of that, who or what I am.
This lady, this woman who comes from a familiar feeling that makes me feel me from long ago, has entered my life. At a time in one of my darkest moods, a time when I no longer want my time to go on. I have felt something I haven't felt in a long time. I don't believe in a god, but I am spiritual, where she believes in god and is very much so active in it. My only hope is that we can see each other as who we are and respect that. I have the utmost respect for anybody and their beliefs, and I hope that my beliefs are not questioned. I want to make the best of this and see how I can evolve into an even better person.
I have rambled on lol.
I still only hope for the best. :)
This I wan't to believe is my flower in the desert.
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