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My Uncle

So I have to lead off with this; my family structure is all fucked up, lol. It is almost a Jerry Springer episode on acid. There are so many dark secrets and rifts that you'd think you were in the 1800s. I know some families have it way harder, I'm looking at you Kennedy family. We all have those family members that we miss, dead or alive, for one reason or another.

The one person I miss the most, and who is very much alive, is my uncle. See, he's not like any other uncle, you know, the creepy one that hits on underage girls and makes derogatory remarks under his breath. No, he's the badass one who introduces you to fucking awesome music and how to jump the biggest fucking ramp on your BMX in Rocky Point, NY, ever!

I grew up with my uncle, who was a big part of my life and a significant influence on who I am today. 

My family has been broken since I was very young, and I'll leave it at that. However, the one constant up until my early 20s was my uncle. See, he filled a void in a much-needed time in my life. To me, not only was he my uncle, but he was also my best friend. You see, we are just under three years apart in age, and therefore, we grew up almost like brothers.  

While I was growing up I spent a lot of time at my grandmother's throughout my childhood and late teens. Therefore I was always around my uncle or in his hair, annoying the shit out of him. He taught me a lot as I was growing up. He was a significant musical influence on me (Van Halen). He would teach me how to defend myself (even though breaking my hand in the process), he would teach me how to jump and do tricks on my BMX bike (introducing me to the Diamondback BMX freestyle team as well), he introduced me to my very first concert (Bad Company and Damn Yankees) and he would show me how to really treat a woman. 

I know some of you are like "how to treat a woman", yes he did. In a household of shitty stepdads and even crappier boyfriends, when he hit the dating world, he showed me how a real man treated a woman. I saw this, and I idolized it. When I spent my years on Long Island working at the Girl Scout camps, I would spend the weekend at his place with his live-in girlfriend. There was a relationship I liked being around. There was always "I love you"s and "thank you" for the simplest of things. My summers were in awe of how I should treat my own lady when I get one. Now don't get me wrong, I had dated through high school, but what he was showing me was shit for the long haul. 

I learned a lot from my uncle growing up. 

One thing I learned was that in the blink of an eye, a family can quickly turn and just walk away. You can grow up with blood and be so close, but one decision or path can easily change that without hesitation. 

It's been years since I've spoken with my uncle. If I remember correctly, it's been since about 1994. Now, I know some of you are thinking that it takes two. You are 100% correct, it does take two I will not deny that. I also know my family is way fucked up, and some of them have been through a lot of shit. You see, it seemed like it was you're either this side or that side, and I don't know why the fuck it even turned that way. 

In my time apart, I have found my path and done some awesome shit in my life. I won't get into that because this isn't my adventure; this is about how my uncle was and, in a way, is my idol. It's also about today, specifically his birthday. So, if my math is correct and my date remembering is right, he is 46 years old. 

Life is a strange journey, and people come and go. The one constant is that family is always family. Whether your mother or father, brother or sister, aunt or uncle, niece or nephew, those aren't choices in where we come from and who we are. 

I know that I have a family, but I don't speak to all of them that much, and at times, none at all. We go down our paths and travel the roads that we set for ourselves. Those roads might lead us away from others, and sometimes, they might lead us back to those we departed. Life is strange like that. 

So, I wish you a happy birthday, and I hope the day finds you well. If you go out to eat, please don't leave the tip in an upside-down glass of water, no matter how rude the waitress is.  :) 



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