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In that moment....

When she rests her head on my arm, she warms my heart. She lowers her defenses and allows me to be her pillow, in which I lower my defenses and allow her in. For a bit, both our shyness and insecurities are forgotten as we enjoy the simple comfort of another person in our personal space.

 I forget about the world around us and the loneliness that has encompassed me for a long time. I let my self-doubts fall away and allowed myself to let her feel comfort in another person. Something I know is a scary idea for both of us for various reasons.

At this moment, I am happy. Truly and deeply happy, something I haven't felt in a very long time. She entrusts me and I the same. I sit there with her curled up at my side, head on my arm, fingers entwined, no worries, no cares, just warmth.

This simple act, this one act, gave me hope for myself—hope for the future, hope in not being alone for the rest of my life, hope that someday I can love again. My heart was given once before, and for years, I began to think that it would never be given again. In this moment, I realize that it is possible to love again. I don't know when or whom; I have my hopes and thoughts, but in that moment, I relish it and enjoy it.

The old me smiled from deep inside, knowing he didn't have to stay tucked away forever. She had helped me find myself. 

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